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Category: Personal Issues

Advice

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: November 8, 2008
Letter: I have trouble making friends. I talk to my mom about it, but she kind of seems mad at me, and it's not my fault! How can I make friends easier and find something to talk about?

My Advice: I think the easiest way to make friends is to join in on activities that you like or maybe clubs or sports. If you have clubs at your school that you're interested in like drama club, debate team, etc. join them because when you meet people with common interests it's easier to have things to talk about and develop natural friendships. If you're not involved in anything it may be more difficult to make friends because it's not as easy to just go up to people randomly, especially if you're shy. So, try getting involved in something if you're not already, you're almost guaranteed to make friends that way, but you have to be willing to talk to people and meet people. Also, when you meet new people and see them as potential friends, it wouldn't hurt to get their phone numbers or even e-mail addresses to stay in touch so the friendships can grow and develop.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: October 15, 2008
Letter: I got my second period last month. I felt horrible! I had crying spells and I felt sad. Ever since that period, I've been overly sensitive. Like today, I heard a sad story & I feel so bad! What can I do about this?

My Advice: Periods unfortunately do cause some girls to be like this and it is because of a change of hormones during the month. Also, your body is adjusting to having it, so your normal moods have to be regulated and accommodated as well. You can't control your emotions or feeling sad, so the only thing you could really do is try to do things that make you feel happy. Don't watch sad movies or think about sad things. Go out, doing something, have fun, or just simply do something fun to take your mind off of anything that makes you feel sad. It is like training your mind to reverse the sad thoughts into happy ones automatically, if you do it for a while. Don't entertain sad thoughts either.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: October 10, 2008
Letter: My parents always fight because of our new house.It is not done yet it needs alot we my parents are working on our new house for like 12 years and it isnt done yet.Please help me I am 11 years old girl that has parents that fights on silly things there arent even talking to each other now :(

My Advice: Well, this is a matter between your parents and there really isn't much you can do about what's going on directly between the two of them. The only thing you can do is just do your part. Do good in school and just do what you're supposed to do. I'm sure it eases a parents stress when their having problems but their kid is doing what they're supposed to do and not causing them anymore stress. You could also talk to them each personally about the issue and let them know how you feel, they may take it into consideration and try not to fight as much or at least try to work things out for the sake of you. Don't stress yourself out over it though.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: September 6, 2008
Letter: Hey first of all i dont want you to know my identity or gender, but my age is 14 and i am living the worst life in the history of earth [ok i was being sarcastic wbu who knows?] so i have asperger's syndrome and i am mildy autistic i am also bisexual and i don't have friends, i am clumsy and like i wanna know my purpose, i am just plain confused i wanna help others but i just cant what should i do? i really am so stupid.

My Advice: It first starts with you. You have to love yourself before other people can love you. People are going to treat you how you treat yourself. First off, stop talking down about yourself, you seem like you are your worst enemy, which most people are anyway. But you should start saying good things about yourself, if you think you're stupid, then that's what you're going to be, and it only gives other people the right to think that about you as well. Live your life and be who you are, but love yourself enough to not say such negative things about yourself. This is what you have to start out with (loving yourself), but as long as you think bad things about your own self, then your life is not going to get any better. Surround yourself around people who love you and care for you, that builds you up as a person. If you have at least one friend or one person that essentially cares for you, then get closer to that person and build up that friendship and then eventually you can venture out develop more friendships. Also, there are different ways to help others, whether it be helping a sibling with homework, helping around the house, saying hi to someone, (just examples) every little thing counts. Self love comes first, then love and help of others.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: September 5, 2008
Letter: Hi, i hate my life =]. Just..everything just SUCKS. And this all started recently..like i wasn't in love with my life or anything before but lately i've been HATING my life. i hate my clothes, i hate my abnormal short frizzy hair, i hate my face. my face is like huge. and because of my weird hair, i have to wear annoying wigs that make me look like i'm 30. sometimes. sometimes i wish i was white. seriously. like white girls can like hannah montana and the jonas brothers without being made fun of. [my friends don't make fun of me in a mean way, like in a teasy-friend way, but still]. They can wear flip flops. they have natural beautiful long hair. i don't even know where to start. everything just sucks and i need a solution.

My Advice: Well, life is what you make it. You shouldn't always focus on what you don't have or what someone else has and you don't. You should always focus on the good things about your life and try to enhance them. If your friends make jokes that bring you down, then they aren't people you should hang around. You should always try to surround yourself around people who are going to build you up as a person in a positive way as well as your self-esteem. Focus on the things you do love about yourself and then whatever you don't like about yourself, if you can change them, then do so, if it would make you feel better about yourself. There is no sense going around everyday saying you hate life, everyone has their own issues in life, but it's either you dwell on them and have a miserable life focusing on what you don't have, or live life to the fullest and work with what you have.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: August 16, 2008
Letter: Hey :] I have a weight problem. I'm 5'6, I guess and I weigh 130lbs. It makes me feel fat, and my legs are fat and sometimes, I can't wear clothes that I love because it looks bad on me. Any tips on losing weight?

My Advice: You're at a pretty good weight, so you really don't have to lose much but you can always tone up. Make sure to always stay active everyday. Try to work out as much as possible whether it's jogging, lifting light weights, or simply riding a bike. You don't have to do any hard core working out but any exercising you do will help your body at least stay in shape and stay toned. After noon, stay away from fatty and greasy foods, usually after 6pm try to eat healthy stuff because when you eat bad foods late you will usually gain weight because later in the day we are usually not as active, but it varies from everyone. In the daytime you're usually more active so therefore you most likely burn off some of the food you've eaten that day. Also, avoid eating heavy late at night, if you do, eat a light snack and try to aim for something healthy as well. A way to speed up your metabolism is by eating small meals, don't eat in large portions, eat about 4 to 5 small meals a day, that will help with weight loss as well. Things like this take time though, for anything dealing with your body to change as far as weight you have to maintain the same habits for 3 to 6 months and you'll usually start to see some change then.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: July 24, 2008
Letter: I'm not too shy in person, but I am really shy on the phone. It's just that I stutter sometimes, and I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing. My mom wonders why I never want a friend to sleep over, when I really do, but I just worry if I'll dial the wrong number or say the wrong thing. Help!

My Advice: Well, keep phone conversations short, simple, and to the point. If you have a cell phone, text instead of talking. If you want to invite a friend over tell them the details in person. Sometimes you can plan what you're going to say. Like rehearse with yourself what you're going to say that way you won't lose your train of thought over the phone and say the wrong thing. For example, if you want to call a friend to sleep over, keep it simple like "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over today?", and that sparks a conversation. Just keep it simple, don't panic, and try to smile when you're on the phone. It sounds strange but smiling will help relieve some of that anxiety you have.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: July 24, 2008
Letter: Well, there's 2 things I need help with. the first is my weight, I'm kinda obsessed with it, I check my weight every day and if it's too much I don't eat anymore that day. My weigh is 43-44 kilos, and I'm 155 cm "tall", is that much? Second, it's this boy who I like, still hate. I've known him for 6 years now, and through those 6 years we've experienced alot together. First we were friends, and then became bestfriends, and then all of a sudden he changes completely! Like, he never talked to me, but I told him and he felt sorry.. After some months we made out, and we had been texting to each other like we were a couple, like "you're all mine, i love you" etc. It was all a joke, but when he made out with me he told it was for real. When I got home I asked him why did you do that, and he said "what are you talking about?" and denied it all :( we started fighting, didn't talked to eachother and stuff.. But eventually we became friends again, and we still are. But we've never talked about the 'past', and I'm thinking about it every day! Why did he do it, and now he says we're bestfriends! I'm so confused, I just wanna go straight up to his face and ask him all of these questions that are going through my mind 24/7. But I'm so afraid of the answers, cause I love him too much to lose him. I'm afraid that I'll lose him when I ask all of these questions, because he might stop talking to me after that. He has done stuff like that to other girls.. I love him, still I kinda hate him :( Please please, help me!? PS: I think you're doing a great thing, helping people out!

My Advice: Your weight is fine. There's no need to obsess over your weight, unless you're trying to gain weight, but that will come with age and time, so don't worry about it too much. I just have to be very frank and blunt with this, you seem really desperate to keeping him. I can understand that you're concerned and confused and really want answers, but if you're trying to hold back because you think he'll get mad an won't talk to you anymore, then obviously he wasn't a real friend in the first place, because you shouldn't have to be afraid to ask a friend something fearing you'll lose them. Weather you talk to him about it or not, that most likely won't change what will happen in the future between the two of you as far as a relationship or something so I would just talk to him about it if I were you. If he doesn't talk to you anymore then life goes on. I understand you love him, but why waste your time if he doesn't feel the same way? If he can seriously just completely stop talking to you because you ask him something like that, then like I said he wasn't real in the first place. What exactly do you have to lose? I understand if you two are close friends, that wouldn't be so easy. Just imagine life without him before you ask him, which would prepare you if he were to stop talking to you, then it won't be so hard if it does happen because I do see you love him a lot, but not all friendships are meant to last forever, some are meant for just a learning experience and this could just be something you learn from.

Letter & Advice

Submitted on: May 27, 2008
Letter: I HATE MY PERIOD! lol sorry i know this is really private but i dread the time of my period. everytime it comes, that whole week is sucky. so any ideas on how to deal with it? period shows your womanhood so i don't want to be all "UH-OH! MY PERIOD AGAIN!" instead i want to be like "LOOKS LIKE IT'S MY PERIOD AGAIN, WELL, EVERYTHING IS STILL NORMAL."

My Advice: I definately don't think anyone likes it at first, it takes some time to adjust and something you have to get used to expecting it every month. When it's on always wear something comfortable and it's good to wear dark clothing just in case (if you know what I mean). Always keep up your hygiene to because it can have an odor. If you're at school or going to be out at a place for a long period of time make sure you bring enough pads/tampons whichever you use and if you can you could try feminine wipes, which serves the purpose to keep you feeling comfortable and clean. In the long run, just for future reference, if you decide to start having sex your period can give you signs as to if you're pregnant or not. For example, if you skip a period it could be a chance you're pregnant. So, it serves for different purposes, with that being one. The main thing is to just keep up your hygiene and make sure you don't keep the same pad/tampon on for a long period of time, change it as often as you can because period odors can be really bad. As time goes on, you'll definately learn how to manage well it it'll just be a habit for you. :)